Quick update. By all rights, I should be out smiling seductively and looking thoughtfully and "accidentally" touching knees with a hot rugged man. However, after that self-satisfied post about how greeeeeeeat it was to date, the Fates took note. They looked up from their weaving, dour bitches, and agreed I needed some balance. A plague 'pon the Gretchie, in the form of facial ulceration!
Egad, a cold sore. A small one, mind you, tastefully tucked in the corner of my mouth. But definitely not a beauty mark, decidedly not a mere angry blemish or an ingrown hair. A yucky, nasty cold sore. Date off, a flu invented to give me suitable time to heal. Too soon to present myself as one of the Infected, don't you think?
Euphemism alert: I am henceforth to refer to this as "a fever blister", as there's something dirtysexy about that synonym, whereas "cold sore" brings to mind some plain dirty old man with a runny nose trying to kiss all the girls at Christmas dinner (by way of explanation, I grew up half-Polish).
It started last night, while I was at the movies settling down with popcorn. The obscene salt count took me from ominous tingle to out-and-out blister in about 4 minutes flat. After the movie I wrangled a prescription for Valtrex and paid a visit to my local pharmacy (thank you Shopper's, for being open till midnight).
Incidentally, the young, nerdycute pharmacist was the same one I'd picked up fluconazole from a couple of months earlier. Wow, a persistent yeast infection and some form of herpes, what a catch! At least he wasn't there when I picked up the Nix during the headlice yuletide invasion. All I need now are my hemorrhoids to flare up. The next date I can bring one of those little inflatable pillows to sit on most daintily, tee hee.
I find it amusing that women are traditionally considered the more delicate sex. Let's see: in addition to the ear waxing, snotting, vomiting, pissing, shitting and farting we share with the bros, we bras also are prone to ovulating (discharge, whadafuck?), menstruating, bloating, yeasting (cottage cheese, whadafuck whadafuck?) and bladdery infecting (pissing blood, ow holy fuck!). Plus many of us get preggo and give birth, with all the attendant nasties that come with that. So buddy there, with the lame "some times I get a boner at bad times; sometimes I have sexy dreams and make a little messytime" don't even start with the woman in your life. We're pretty gross.
Anyway, as according to my sources fever blisters take 7-10 days to heal, I am plotting date #3 for sometime late next week. Yay, just in time for my period. I'll be happy to get my mouth back, however.
Big wet kisses to you,
G
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